Friends or enemies?
by The 13th Element of Insainity
Summary: My terrible Kyman piece. Imma rate it T. I don't ever post past T. I hope you like it. I have more of it. Its gonna probably interact with other stories of mine. In this one Kyle narrates. No regular scheduled updates...
1. Why?

I could hardly believe it myself, so why should I tell him? Tell him that I actually care him. That he's one of the people I care about the most. Or that with him gone life is incomplete….

I still don't understand it myself. Why would anyone want to be around such an asshole all the time? Maybe I'm unconsciously seeing something about him. Perhaps there's some good to him. No, that can't be… He's a terrible human being who would rather have power than friends. Is he even human? All he ever wants is material values.

It might be because we've been through so much together. Still, it's not like he cares about me.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> **Ciao. My name is The 13th Element of Insanity. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I decided to write this a few weeks ago. I wrote a different fic too, and I'm thinking of linking them…**

**Disclaimer: South Park 3 doesn't belong to me, but to Matt and Trey…  
><strong>


	2. That Fat Bastard!

How could Cartman do this? Oh right, he's _Cartman._ He always dose shit like this. Almost everything he does is terrible. It's weird but I'm surprised. Maybe because he's been doing this so many times without my knowledge. Apparently he's been stealing stuff from my room. Kenny told me. Butters confirmed. How long has he been doing it? I mean, They only noticed it this week. We only know that he's probably been doing this for over a month…whatever. I know what must be done.

It took convincing and it was not easy but I got Butters to agree to help me steal my stuff back. I don't even what to bother confronting Cartman this time so It's all I can do. Butters is sleeping over at Cartman's tonight and he'll let me in through the window.

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><p>It feels weird being in Cartman's room while he's asleep. I think it's one of those things that doesn't get any less weird no matter how often you do it... He apparently hid it in a closet. Wait...what the hell?! It's probably just my imagination. But that looks a <em>lot <em>like the blanket I gave him when he kept claiming the "Jewpakabra" was real. Did he really keep it? why? the blanket's in such poor condition...

He has a lot of weird stuff in here. And a surprising amount of books. What's that? "23 Bio-suit"? Maybe Butters knows...

"Hey Butters! What's that?"

"Oh! That's the Thing Eric used to breath that time we went to San Francisco to...Gosh darn it! I almost told you our secret! Forget I said anything..."

They went to San Francisco? When? Why? Cartman hates that place...And why would he need that fucking thing to breath? I could probably trick Butters into saying more...

"Sure, I wont tell anyone...If you tell me why you guys went to San Francisco!"

"But it's a secret! And Cartman said I'm not allowed to t-tell anyone!"

"Just tell me."

"Why should I?"

"Because if I tell Cartman that I know about him going to San Francisco, he'll think you're a terrible friend."

"Fine. He wanted to prove how awful it is there."

Why is he lying? He rarely lies. Just what the hell is he hiding?

"He wanted to get you out of the smug storm because I don't make a very good Jew..."

"speak up, I didn't hear."

"N-no! I said it so now you don't tell."

"Say it again but louder!"

"No!"

"Then I'll tell your parents you tried to steal something from a house."

"No! Fine, it was because I didn't do a good job at being a 'dirty Jew!' Now you can't tell my parents."

"Why did he want you to be a Jew?"

"To replace you."

"Why would he need to replace me?"

"Because he missed you but didn't want to admit it. Especially not to you or Stan. And you can't tell anyone."

Did he actually miss me? That can't be right. He _despises_ me. Wait! could it be possible that he actually considers me as a friend? Maybe...We need to take my stuff so I can leave before Cartman wakes up...

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I think I'm gonna post about this length per chapter. I will post as soon as possible. This is all I have written in this fic. I'm gonna write more but I want to use the same conversation as the other fic I'm writing. the other one's from Cartman's perspective...<br>**

**P.S. I'm planing on something with the books.**

**Disclaimer:South park isn't mine but Trey and Matt's, etc...**


	3. Just Act Like Always

Today is already feeling like weird a day and I haven't even gotten on the bus yet. Not even 10 hours ago I was in someone's house without their consent. While they were asleep. And now I'm gonna have to interact with them like always. Like nothing ever happened. But it isn't like always. It isn't like nothing ever happened. Because I was in his house. The fact that he's a fat asshole doesn't justify things. The right thing to do would be to tell him, right? But I can't do that. He'll just call me a sneaky Jew and I will never hear the end of it. Cartman won't let it go, he's too much of a fatass. And speak of the devil. Only, the devil is nicer than him...

"What's up fatass?"

"Not much stupid Jew. And I'm not fat, I'm big boned."

"Not this again. Cartman, you are a fatass. If you don't want to be called that then don't be fat and don't be an ass."

Even if he wasn't fat anymore or suddenly got nice, I'd still call him fatass. That was _my _name for him. He's _my _stupid fucking fatass.

"Well then, I'll never stop calling you a Jew."

"Dude, I am Jewish"

"No but seriously, don't be so hard on yourself. I was only joking. You aren't a Jew."

"Yes, I am. I'm Jewish and I'm proud of it. It isn't an insult."

So far I think I'm acting like my normal self. Maybe tomorrow I could try being a bit nicer and see if he notices. But I don't want him to be fully aware if I'm nice on purpose. I can't trust him enough to know that I care. Probably about as much as fatass Cartman doesn't want me to know he cares. But I do know. And it feels so fucking weird.

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><p><strong>Author's note: I'm sorry I didn't update sooner. I lost my first draft. Thank you guys so much for the nice comments and favorites. You have no idea how much it means to me. I even feel a bit embarrassed because last chapter I left out some dialog by accident... Well, I knew where I wanted to go with this, but I don't know how to get there. I even wrote a few chapters ahead but there's a huge gap. And I think this is going to take a while because I feel like they need a lot of time to develop a strong friendship and stuff. And I have to make it a more complex friendship because I want it deep and personal.<strong>

**Disclaimer: South Park is not mine but Matt and Trey's.**


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